Seasons of Thanks

I decided this year to have a basket of blessings on our dinner table throughout the month of November. We have little slips of paper that we write our blessings on and then throw them in the basket. We've all been doing it throughout the day and even Li Na has joined in:) I can't wait until Thanksgiving Day to get all of our blessings out of the basket giving Thanks to the Lord for each gift we've been given!!!

As I've added my own blessings to the basket I've thought about all the things the Lord has done for us over the past (almost) six years. We have been through our fair share of trials and transitions, but the more I ponder all of those things the more I realize that without all of those "tough" things we would not have half of the blessings that we have scribbled on those pieces of paper. That basket is full of blessings because God in His perfect timing with His perfect love and faithfulness has taken our family on a journey that is written specifically for us and for our good.

I am humbled as we move into this season of thanks. I LOVE this time of year, and I am hoping to be acutely aware of how blessed I am as I look back on where I've been and as I look ahead to where God is leading!

I have also been making a little Christmas keepsake book for our family. "Through the Years" is the theme that keeps coming to my mind. It's been so fun to look back on each Christmas we've spent together and how things have changed. So, I'll give you the "blog" version. Things have definitely changed for our family even though it's only been six years!!!

Christmas 2006- This was taken in our apartment in Birmingham. I was seven months pregnant with Lydia. We were raising support to go to Puerto Rico. This picture represented how we would react when we reached 100% of our goal!2007- We were living in Ben's grandparents house in Wedowee still raising support to leave for Puerto Rico. I was about 3 months pregnant with Thomas.

2008- Living in Puerto Rico. This was the first time I wore shorts and short-sleeves putting up our Christmas Tree! Side-note: I wasn't pregnant in this picture!

2009- Recently moved to Montgomery, AL. Six months pregnant with Sam:)

2010- Still in Montgomery, AL, but in a different house. Here's the crazy thing about this picture. Lord willing, we will be sitting under this same mantle in this year's picture. As you can see we have celebrated Christmas in a different place every year.

This will be our third Christmas here in Montgomery and our second Christmas in our house. The only difference this year is that our kids are bigger and we have a dog. Another side-note: I will not be pregnant in this year's picture;)

Thanks for sharing the past with me now let's all look with hope and great joy to the future that God has for each of us and our families!!!

Forgot one...

I had to add this picture of TW. I don't know what it is about this boy, but he has completely stolen my heart! I think it may be all of the trauma we went through during his birth. He is the sweetest little guy, and I am so thankful for him!!!

Has it been Six Months?!?!

I have sat down numerous times to post something new from the "Parmer's Perspective," and I could give about 50 reasons why I haven't. Here are just a few... we have had 12 cases of strep in our home since the beginning of May, I have three small children, we adopted a puppy, I take all my pictures on my phone, and I'm too lazy to take the time to e-mail them to myself and post them, the list could go on. But, tonight my kids were asleep by 7:45 and just in case anyone is still checking to see if we're alive I thought I would take some time to post a few of my favorite pics from the last six months. I would love to sit down and write the details that I have missed in not posting, but that really overwhelms me. So, here are some pictures, and I'll try to post more often!
(Sorry these pics are so small, I know what I did wrong and I'll fix it next time!)

This is the newest member of the Parmer Family. Meet Joanna (JoJo)!!! We love, love,love this dog. She is our 10 month old Pit Bull Terrier Mix that we adopted in May.

Sam absolutely loves to mow the lawn! On this particular Sat. it was blazing hot, so he had to have a bandanna on just like daddy! (he doesn't actually mow, but he really enjoys riding in the backpack)

Thomas is still very much attached to his "mimi." I think he will end up taking it to college with him, but that's OK with me:)


Not sure if you can tell because the pic is so small, but today the kids were coloring in their Publix coloring books and Sam decided that he should color his face!

Yes, this is JoJo in our bed! She is sleeping and so is Ben. Let me just say that Ben loves this dog so much! At first he didn't even want her in the house, but as you can see he has since changed his tune!

The Birthday Boy

Today is our little guy's first birthday. Wow, how this year has flown by!!! I remember this time last year "vacationing" in the hospital. I had no idea what life was going to be like with three babies, and this afternoon I sit here realizing that this house is no longer full of babies. We have a little girl who is growing so quickly, a boy who is becoming more and more independent (now no longer in diapers, thank goodness!), and our baby who is now a year old... almost walking, and loving life! This precious gift has been our most challenging one of the three in different ways from food allergies to quite the dynamic and determined personality. He is throwing fits at a year old that Lydi began to throw when she turned three. OH MY!

All that to say that I have mixed feelings about the fact that everyone is a year older, and I know that I will not be having another baby. I will never again experience that first full year. As hard as it has been at times I will miss certain aspects of it. I know that Ben and I both feel that our family is not yet complete, but we will not be having anymore biological Parmers; however, I know that out there somewhere are babies that will one day join our family. Who knows when or how it will work out, but for now I will be content with my three kiddos that are teaching me so much. I am so thankful for their lives, and I am so thankful that the Lord loves them more than I could ever think of loving them. That's hard to imagine...

We are celebrating Sam's birthday today, but I am celebrating life in general. Thankful for his life and his first year, but looking forward to the many FUN years to come!!!

Some fun facts about Sam:
- He makes this amazing sound that literally sounds like a wild animal. It's quite impressive, and I'm pretty sure my hearing will forever be damaged.
- He is little, but it's because he is NEVER still. Even in his sleep he is active!!!
- He loves to play in the toilet, and putting the lid down only makes him want to do it more.
- He laughs at everything; mostly his brother and sister.
- He is not very fond of riding in the car.
- He loves to swing.
- He crawls faster than Thomas walks.
- He has brought me so much joy as a mom. I LOVE watching him interact with the world around him. I love watching his determined spirit solve problems and figure things out when they won't quite go his way. I have a feeling his toddler years are going to be very interesting. I think we need better insurance:)
Happy Birthday our Samo!!!!!!

He Did It!!!

Sam has been trying for a couple of weeks to see what the big deal is about the train table and why his brother would spend so much time playing around it. So, last week he finally did it!!! He pulled himself up there and figured out that it was pretty fun. Now, if I can't find Sam he is in the playroom playing at the train table. He hasn't quite mastered the skill of cruising around it yet, but I figure I'll post some video of that sometime in the very near future.

HELP!!!

My last post with this title was about laundry, and now I really wish that was all I needed help with!!!

I know that probably only a handful of people read my blog, but my hope in writing this entry is that among that handful there are a few mommies that have that typical first born female living under their roof, because I need some serious HELP!!!

Most people don't believe me when they say that I struggle at home with our oldest little lady. Now, she is a sweetheart, and I do love her very much (this goes without saying); however, lately we have really been struggling with who calls the shots around here. I feel as if I am in a power struggle all day long with her. We are so much alike, and our sin unfortunately is also very much the same.

I am having one of those weeks where I feel like a failure as a mother, and it is as if all of my apologies to her and my "please forgive mommy" pleas don't even matter. Maybe it's because I will be asking for forgiveness one minute and then in the next breathe I am barking an order or speaking harshly to get my point across. I know my own selfish pride is really clouding my thoughts right now. So, if anyone has any insight on the subject or wisdom to share... please let me in on it!

Meanwhile, please pray that there will be peace in our home in the midst of frustration!

Nikki Kay

That's what Ben has been calling me for the past week; ever since I began my new career as an Independent Consultant for Mary Kay!!! Now, you might be thinking to yourself what in the world would Nikki Parmer be doing in the Mary Kay industry. That's a great question! It all started when I went to a party a couple of months ago, and decided to help my friend out by ordering their basic skin care system. Most of you probably know that I typically have horrible skin unless I'm pregnant. Well, since I'm not pregnant my skin has been acting up lately. So, I agreed to try the product, but I had no intentions of reordering because I knew my skin would probably completely flip out. When my skin not only looked better and healthier after just a few weeks I started to become more interested in this product, because believe me I have tried everything that is out there.

I was blown away by the way my skin felt and looked, it's not perfect, but it's better than it ever has been post pregnancy. I was intrigued, so I hosted a party for my friend, and decided that I would try their powder. This was a huge risk for me, because I have used the same brand since I was 15, but I liked their skin care so much that I thought I would try something else. (Plus, this powder is cheaper than what I was using) Anyway, I also really liked the powder. It's funny, because I told Ben that I feel like a grown up. Using a skin care product that works and not Purpose soap from Wal-Mart. Using powder that makes me feel all pretty because it shimmers:) It's been funny, and so unlike me!

However, I am not writing this for a sales pitch. I am writing this, because after 3 babies and millions of loads of laundry I think somewhere along the way I stopped feeling pretty. I stopped caring what I looked like because I was just going to smell like spit up by the end of the day anyway so why shower??? That was my mentality. Now, don't hear me say that being at home with my kids has not been a joy, and don't hear me say that beauty is what you see on the outside, because I know what God's Word says and I know that beauty truly comes from the inside out and not a product. However, it has been nice to treat myself, to make myself feel like a woman again. My husband hasn't minded it so much either:) It's also been great for my kids to see mommy get excited about something!

So, I begin my journey this week with orientation, and I got my starter kit last week. I am really looking forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for me and the women that I will meet. It should be fun, and in the words of my sweet and supportive husband... "Pink Caddy Here We Come!!!"

Laughter!!!

This video of Sam and Lydi is actually about 3 months old, but Ben sat down and figured out how to upload the video. It was too good not to post, and below is my text from the original post that we couldn't get to work...

I realized this week that I really do love having my children so close in age. This realization has brought great freedom to my life, because I no longer feel the need to explain to others that none of our children were "planned" that way we look a little less insane. The Truth is that Ben and I had no intentions of having 3 children within 4 1/2 years of marriage, but now with a 3 1/2 year old, 2 year old, and almost six month old we are loving life!

It's not always perfect (especially between the hours of 5 - 7 p.m.), and I am never a perfect mom, but I am learning so much about how to genuinely love and serve and I am always thankful that the Lord has blessed us with these sweet babies! This video is just one of the million reasons why!

Lydi & Sam

Fall... Finally!!!

Our big boy in his Johnny Jump up. He loves this thing, and the other two love to bounce right along with him!
The fam at the pumpkin patch just after we picked out our "punkins."
Proof that I had just as much fun as the kiddos did.
This might be one of the funniest pictures I have ever seen!!! That's Sam in case you couldn't tell! Hilarious!
This is our Ni Hao, Kai Lan ballerina. Our little girl is really enjoying her dress up closet, and let me tell you she comes up with some pretty creative combos!


I am so thankful that Fall is finally here!!! I am LOVING the cool mornings and nights. The somewhat cool breeze during the day isn't half bad either. Not only do I love the weather that comes with the fall season, but I also really enjoy all of the activities! My parents came to visit this week, and we spent the day at the Dreamfield Farms Pumpkin Patch. I think I may have had just as much fun or more than the kids did! The weather was perfect, and we had a great time!!!

This fall has also brought some changes in our home with Sam becoming mobile. He literally learned to crawl in just a few days. I knew he was close, and then one day I was in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher, and in he comes... crawling!!! I'm not sure I'm ready for this; it really has changed our world. In some ways there's a lot more freedom, and he is much more content. I remember the first time that Lydi got upset with TW and it happened when he was able to crawl in her room and get into her stuff. Well, imagine that now with two older ones! On top of that Sam is our feistiest yet. He has already made both TW and Lydi cry. Oh my!!! I can't imagine what life will be like this time next year.

Our little guy will be 8 months old this next week, and I am so sad that our baby is not going to be a baby much longer. I am beyond thankful for these little blessings, and I continue to ask the Lord to give me much wisdom and grace as I seek to shepherd their little hearts! Enjoy the pictures...

Friends

This isn't the best picture, but if you look closely you can tell that Lydi is dressed up having a tea party with her fellow royalty.

Those of you that read this blog probably know me and my family and that's why you might care about life from our perspective. You might not know much about each of us and our individual personalities. I'll give you a little insight on Lydi and me, and for those of you that already know this well I hope you will rejoice with me as you read this post!!!

We have been in Montgomery since last September. This past week marked one year of us leaving Puerto Rico. Our first year here has been pretty tough. I remember when Lydi turned 3 last year I was so sad because we really didn't have any "friends" to invite to her party other than her cousins. At the time I was afraid it might always be that way. That might sound a little extreme, but Lydi is our little social bug, and well let me just say that our little girl is a whole lot like her momma!

I'm not exactly sure why the first few months were so tough for us as we transitioned to life back in the deep south, but now I am really starting to feel encouraged about life here. I think one of the main reasons is that we are now engaging in the lives of others. Even though we have three little ones I feel like we are at a place to be able to engage in life again across the board.

We were able to have a spontaneous hang out time with some friends tonight, and when we got home I told Lydi that I was so happy that she had friends to play with. This was her response... "mommy, I'm glad you have friends to play with too." It was so sweet and so true! I am thankful that God has brought us to a place to be able to reengage. Life has been so crazy, and I have been so overwhelmed that I haven't felt like myself in a long time. I am seeing glimpses of being able to enjoy life here, and it's nice.

It feels more and more like home and not because we bought a house, and we're "settling in." I think it's more because finally we have friends. I am also thankful that these friends don't look exactly like us, and they are not from the same places that we are from, we are different, and that's what I love about it. We are able to build relationships with people that are from the other side of the world or the country and it's nice.

It is amazing the difference it makes when you just put yourself out there in hopes that God will be able to use us in some small way to love on others and hopefully give glory to Him along the way. It's exciting, and I feel hopeful for the first time in a while:)

A Million Reasons

TW absolutely loves to have his picture made. Anytime he sees a camera this is the face he makes as he says "CHEESE!"
This is not the best picture, but it was taken right before Lydi went to her first ballet, tap, and tumbling class. She is loving it!!!
Here is our big six month old boy! He is sitting up, laughing all the time, and bringing so much joy to us all!

There are a million reasons why... I have really been enjoying the fact that we have 3 little ones lately! It's actually tough on me to see our babies growing like crazy! For so long I felt the need to justify to people that we didn't "plan" to have 3 children in three years the first four years of marriage, because I didn't want people to think that we were that crazy, but now I realize that I would not want it any other way.

Just tonight Lydi and TW were playing and I thought to myself what a great thing for them to grow up together. It's like built in best friends... I know she's a girl and he's a boy, but I still think they will be the best of friends. Now, here's where Sam comes into the equation. Our dear sweet Samuel!!!

He is growing so quickly, and I get emotional almost every time I look at him; literally. I think it's because I know that he was our least planned of the three and to think that there was a moment when I found out I was pregnant when I thought he would not be the best thing for our family. How wrong I was!!! He has been such a joy and such a gift not only for Ben and me but for our other kiddos. They love, love, love this little guy and rightfully so; he's too cute not to:)

I say all of this to say that I am very grateful that the Lord knows what we need better than we do, and I am so happy that he chose to bless us with our three lively little lovies!

forgot the picture... sorry!

Thanks Amy for bringing the Bumbo!!! We are loving it!

Community, Conviction, Challenges

I just want to prepare you if you are reading this that it's not a family update and there probably won't be any cute pictures of the kids at the end. Well, actually there will be because I have a new one of Sam that I've been meaning to post, but my point is that I don't usually use my blog to "journal" or write out what I would usually write only for myself and my Lord to read. However, I have really had a day where my heart is heavy and I feel very burdened, and wanted to share some of my thoughts. I don't know if my hope is that I will feel better, or I might get some comments that make me feel normal when right now I feel like I might be completely alone in some of these things...

Most of my heavy heartedness comes from still adjusting to life here in the deep south. Don't get me wrong I really do love it here and I'm glad to be back "home," but Ben and I have really struggled since we've been back with the whole idea of southern hospitality, and how from our experience coming back here it seems like just words that are said, but not meant.

It seems like it's the expected thing to offer help or to smile when you pass someone in the grocery store, or to ask how someone is doing with no intention whatsoever of listening to their response. We're so busy, and so consumed that we don't even notice other people. I am not saying this about others, I am saying this about myself. I confess to love Christ with all that I am, but I fail to love those that He has created for His glory.

So, we have struggled with being preoccupied ourselves, and we have felt so much like outsiders coming back into this culture. We have been surprised by so many things, and recently we were able to hang out with a couple of families that are from the other side of the world and being with them we felt more comfortable and more welcomed than we have with those that speak and look just like us.

Maybe we're just weird, but the truth is that we came here to really try and love those that are far away from home, or even to just simply make people feel at home in our own home. I think that I will learn to do that by being around those that I am trying to be hospitable to. We have longed for community, and we want it to be one that is diverse, but real and genuine. Heaven, that's where I think that it actually exists. There it will not be tainted with our desire to please men or to not be uncomfortable, but only to be near Jesus and to worship Him!

The sermon this morning has really spurred on these thoughts, and it has truly caused me to search my heart in how I view others. It starts in my home. I get frustrated with my little girl, because she wants me to watch her do everything as I am trying to accomplish my agenda and to-do list for the day. She's not going to be 3 forever, and I need to realize that loving her and loving others is much more important than loving myself!!!

So, if you have read this and you understood any of it please pray for me that I would really let these thoughts sink deeply into my heart. That I would not be critical of others or of different cultures even if it's my own.

bean bags, birthdays, and more

We are enjoying these bean bags, so thank you G-daddy and G-mommy!
Lydi with Tinkerbell (or Pinkerbell as TW says) at the street festival downtown.
Another blessing has been meeting this sweet Chinese family!
Lydi with Princess Tiana. She was so excited to walk up and see the princesses! We recently got two frogs (African dwarf frogs which are really fun) and Lydia named them Naveen and Tiana!

We have had so much to report, and so little time to do it.

I'll share a few highlights as well as lowlights from the past few weeks.
Highlights First...
- TW turned 2 on June 30th, and we had a very fun time celebrating with a Thomas the Train party!
- TW and Lydi were given bean bags for his birthday and they LOVE them. This has been an item on the Christmas and birthday list for quite a while.
- Play group on Tues. has been a ton of fun for not only the kiddos, but for mommy as well:)
- Settling into our new home, painting, unpacking, working in the yard, unpacking, hanging pictures, etc.
- Meeting a precious Kazakh family that we will be hosting for the next year while they are here in officer training school.
- Staycation (Montgomery's word for a festival downtown during the 4th of July) so much fun!
- first trip to the dentist and it was successful.
- meeting neighbors and enjoying the convenience of our new neighborhood
- 10:30 showing of Eclipse (first date with Ben since Sam was born!)

Now for a few lowlights (all are pertaining to the brutal heat and mosquitos)
- A.C. broke at the beginning of the summer
- It was over 100 degrees here today; therefore, we could not swim in our little pool outside because the water was almost boiling. (OK, maybe not boiling, but it did feel like really warm bath water)
- Ben accidentally killed our fish in our pond outside spraying for mosquitos
- TW has had a horrible time with his skin this summer (we'll be taking a trip to the allergy dr. in the morning)

All things considered we are doing well. I can't believe how big our children are getting. Lydi now without her pacy seems like she's all grown up, TW just turning TWO and talking so much, little Sambo is about to be five months old and is ready to start trying some cereal. Time flies by, and I have been reminded this summer that life goes by so quickly. I want to capture every memory and moment with them while they need me for everything. Even though it is exhausting most days, it is such a blessing to have these little ones!